Sunday, May 22, 2005

Before one can write the thesis, one must have a topic about which to write. Those are harder to come by than one might think. I've been emailing with Prof. Big Name and think I have something good. I of course as usual think I come off all wierd and worshipful--I have fucking social retardation disorder even on the internet.

I read something recently about how belief isn't required of an author of scholarly works. While it is a different sort of thing than what the poster is talking about, it made me think about how I have in my schoolwork certainly taken positions that I don't really hold because one position is easier to get a paper done about than the other. So in the name of time, I've gone with an easy position to defend when I in fact hold a position that is much harder to defend. But I kind of hate doing that. On another note, I have found that going with a professor's view rather than criticizing it leads to better grades granted by the professor. I don't think this is because professors are intentionally biased, but it is clearly bias--of course they are biased towards their own position, because it is there position! So they're going to think that their position holds more water even if you argue against it pretty well.

For my thesis I really want to believe in what I'm writing. It is all of my education wrapped up in an ugly, cheap little blue hardback binding that will forever remain in the university's library. I want to be able to turn back to it years from now and think, "I am proud of my 75 to 100 pages that no one will ever read."

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