Friday, May 06, 2005

My uncle died recently.

I've been keeping in touch with the family a lot better since then, including my aunt, who is now a widow, and my cousins.

She doesn't mean to do it, but my mom fills me with guilt about a) me and my brother not getting along too well and b) the fact that my gay ass will never provide her with a daughter-in-law or reproduce.

So I'm sitting here in the cube on this dreary Friday, not doing much of anything, and I get to thinking about death, the inevitability thereof, what it's going to be like when my parents die, how my brother and I are going to come together or not, how the family is so far away, how in many ways I've disappointed them or shamed them, how I'm in the last year of my twenties, how I still don't know what I am supposed to be doing with my life, how I'm so lonely and how it's just me only and how this world is covered in shit and going to hell in a handbasket that's already engulfed in flames...

You know, light stuff.

And for some reason The Braids' cover of "Bohemian Rhapsody" has been making me lose my shit lately.

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