Thursday, January 26, 2006

Things I Did Today

*Bought an outfit.

*Diagnosed myself with bulimia, only without the vomitting.

*Started a rumor that I am a transexual; left in which direction I am "transitioning" unclear.

*Made a scene at Wendy's over resistance to provide ranch dressing for chicken nuggets. ("It's only for the salads" my ass.)

*Told my boss I have multiple personality disorder (?!)

*Printed out the Travel Advisory from the State Department on Zimbabwe. Learned there is government sanctioned killing of white people there. Vowed never to go (not that I was planning a vacation or anything to begin with). Advised my African-American boss not to wander far from the Sheraton while she's there.

*Snatched a thesis from the Thesis Room to "go by" (for format of course, I'm no plagiarist).

*Used the term "The Butch Stroll" to describe Avenue B to a former missionary who mentioned she was "uncomfortable" down there.

*Saw S.D.A. perform.

2 comments:

Mona Buonanotte said...

Whew! That's enough work for today! Have a cocktail!

bitchphd said...

What is up with fast food folks trying to enforce some kind of weird rules about how you're supposed to eat their crap? I mean, really.