Saturday, February 04, 2006

You Can't Take It With You

Last night, for K-Rock's birthday, J-Boogie and I made arrangments to procure a cake and have dinner at Patsy's. I also invited Lito to attend. We all met at the restaurant.

We had never been to Patsy's. But we were familiar with Grimaldi's pizzeria, which used to be called Patsy's also. There is a detailed account of their name change controversy on their menus. We believed incorrectly that the Patsy's we were going to on 56th Street was in fact the Patsy's pizzeria in East Harlem, and that they would have a comparable product. Boy were we ever wrong.

Patsy's turned out to be the most chi-chi place I have ever been to in New York City. But we still thought it was the rival pizzeria, not realizing that a pizzeria probably wouldn't be so fancy. J-Boog had arranged to drop the cake off there, for them to serve to us after we ate. Yes, we took our own cake. WHAT?! Anyway, they were totally against this, but J-Boog talked them into it for five dollars per person.

They made us check our coats and bags. I was looking rough after work -- totally untucked, full bearded, and with hat-hair. Everyone was like 60 years old and in suits and fucking ballgowns. We were no doubt catching some looks. I worried they might turn us away because Lito and I weren't in fucking sports coats.

But they sat us upstairs (at first I thought this might have been to keep us out of view of the "white folk" but there were plenty of suity, ball-gowny patrons up top too.

We ordered the following drinks among the four of us: one Pepsi, one Diet Pepsi, one Sprite, one just water. They brought the drinks in those little mini glass bottles, and they brought bread.

We go to look at the menu and realize that they do not even serve pizza, and fucking speghetti and meat balls is $27. When the waiter stepped away, the talk immediately turned to "we are in the wrong place".

J-Boog and I probably would have just sucked it up and got the cheapest thing (speghetti and meatballs) but K-rock and Lito spearheaded the Exit from the Scene.

In all honesty, were our coats not checked and our cake in the kitchen, I probably would have just got up and casually walked out without saying a word.

Our discussion of the plan, however, started with excuses. Lito suggested that we go with "an emergency" or "I'm really sick". (Can you imagine? "Sir, I'm sorry but I've just had a terrible explosion of diarhea and period blood in my pants. Can we have the check for the drinks please?") K-rock suggested we should just tell the waiter "we're in the wrong place" which is the truth, and that's what we did. Then we got our cake and our coats and headed out, with dagger-eyes on us from the owner--especially after our big stink about the cake.

We of course had to pay for the beverages. Three beverages. The tab for these three baby sized glass bottles of beverage was $20! There was talk of walking out with the bottles in hand, but in the end we didn't do that. I chugged mine.

Then we went to Angelo's Pizza which was practically empty and very delicious. Everything worked out fine in the end.

Capote was sold out, so instead, today K-rock and I went to see Walk the Line which was very good. Joaquoanakanason (or however you spell it) Phoenix really surprised me with how much he both looks and sounds like Johnny Cash. I'm sure the whole thing was romanticized, and June Carter was putting out waaay longer than the movie lets on, but, it was a good flick. I recommend.

Going on The Butch Stroll in a few. Holla!

1 comment:

anne arkham said...

For $27, those outta be some big fucking meatballs.