Usually the names are changed to protect the innocent (and the guilty) on this here blog, but today allow me to drop a name. Parker Posey! Last night S.D.A. invited me to go with him to a friend's 70's themed birthday party, so I put on my new pants and we went down the shindig. As I will always be there to drink for free, I became increasingly drunk, which leads to increased working of nerves, and after a while I was no longer self-conscious in my kind of highwater pants but rather feeling it a little too much, in people's faces and dancing to Ring My Bell, etc.
S.D. returned to me reporting that Parker Posey was there and upon entering she had announced to him that "it smells like donuts in here". I told him and Jaykwan that it was going to take a lot for me not to be a gushing fan boy and just be a cool whats-up kind of guy. Honestly though, I don't really get starstruck, but...I really do love Parker Posey. We were joking about the most obnoxious routes we could take in embracing her, like for example asking her if we could do lines of toot off her tits and lick her cooch. Because people were really like that. She was ambushed in the kitchen by the starstruck, and I was not going to be like that even if it meant I didn't get to speak to her at all. But I digress.
So we were playing it cool of course, and wanted to interact with her "organically" as S.D. said. I went outside to smoke a cigarette as the party was ending and people were going to move along to Therapy. Later I would learn that during this time alone, S.D. was in the kitchen with PP who offered him a drink from her cup and then took it back and continued to drink from it herself.
Then, here comes PP outside with her friends. S.D. rolled up from behind, and PP made some comment about having quit smoking for a week. I can't remember what was said, but I high fived PP a good one with some definate smack to it. Everyone was just shooting the breeze, she was talking about her dog so of course I mentioned Nina the pitbull, and I was impressed with how collected I was in the face of celebrity, and the next thing I know I'm telling her, "I don't want to be a slobbering fanboy, but I am a big fan." AND SHE HUGGED ME, TIGHT, FOR LIKE TWO MINUTES. The song "Time Stood Still" started playing in my head. She said to me, "Aw, I'm a fan too." She may have said she loves me but I can't be sure at this hung-over point. Then she and her group were off, and she asked my name and told me if I ever see her to come on up to her. Lord knows she may regret that when I see her in Starbucks and act like we've been BFF's for a hundred years. She really seems nice and down to earth.
Then everybody went to Therapy and Posh and I drank too much, made a fool of myself, grabbed some guys ass who was not happy about it (have a problem with that), and gave my number to some dude with bad teeth.