Monday, December 04, 2006

Meow Kitty, Mad Max, and More

I am at the lowest point I’ve been in years. My self-esteem is like at zero and the stresses and mistakes and afflictions of this life ending 2006 on a less than positive note. Hopefully in the New Year I’ll have a rebirth. In the meantime here are some trivial observations and fun facts from The Butch Stroll.

First: Why I Should Not and Will Not Ever Have Children, Example 16,249. Meow Kitty (the demon beast pictured) has taken in the past month to a new behavior, where rather than run back and forth from the kitchen indicating that she is hungry and needs someone to fill her bowl with food, she now HOWLS noises unlike anything I’ve ever heard before, until you acknowledge her and, well, fill the bowl. She’s also taken to demanding MORE food than usual since her Father has been gone, because she has learned that I will giver her more than she usually gets. (The reason we have to feed her regularly, rather than just leaving the bowl full, is because she has only one tooth and therefore cannot eat dry food. We have to scoop her nasty ass wet food as needed. Seriously. One tooth.)

So the noises are irritating as all hell, they are ungodly and start without fail right when I am falling asleep, or right before I have to get up when I’m savoring the last few minutes of sleep I have before a long workday. Today was not a good day for me, however, and I gave her the last of her food I had on hand, so of course a few hours later she starts with the screeching. I try to explain to her that I have not made it out of the house yet to purchase her more food, and that I have to do some things and then take a shower before I will be able to go out, but of course she does not understand this because she is a cat and her brain is the size of a cherry tomato.

I get in the shower, and mistakenly leave my door open. Meow Kitty knows that she is absolutely forbidden from entering my room. But when I come out of the shower, homegirl is in there chillin on my couch with her nasty ass, and I about lost it. I yelled at her, and she ran out, and as she scurried past me I gave her a hard shove with my flip-flop. Then she came back for more, so I turned the vacuum on and in a Penny-gets-burned-with-the-iron moment, I vacummed her tail for a minute and she freaked. She ran into her father’s room and was silent for a long time. I felt so bad about it I even petted her and begged her to forgive me. Good thing she can’t call Child Protective Services. At any rate, I eventually got her some food and she was over it upon my return – back with the noises.

On another note, Scatty and I watched Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome last night, which I have to say is one of my favorite movies of all time. “You think I don’t know the law? Wasn’t it me who wrote it? And I say that this man has broken the law! Right or wrong, we had a deal. And the law says, ‘bust a deal, face the wheel.’” What’s brilliant about that scene is that Aunty Entity is actually the one who has broken the law by setting up Master Blaster for a battle in Thunderdome, but like the true politician she is, she spins is around to make Max the one who has broken the law…a different law even. But I digress.

In light of the recent controversy surrounding Mel Gibson, I couldn’t help but expect him every now and then to blurt out some old-fashioned Jew hating. Like when he is being hired to kill Blaster, instead of saying to Aunty, “Real civilized!”, I think he’s going to say, “Bartertown is run by JEWS!” Or when he finds the children, and the tell him their primitive legends about their origins on the edge of the desert after a plane crash, I expect him to be all, “The JEWS caused the Poxyclipse!” It sucks that Mel had to be exposed as an anti-Semite, because I really love that movie.

More later.

1 comment:

Scatty D. said...

I must admit that I did get a laugh behind the description of you coming unglued at finding Meow Kitty chillin' in da Hard Shell on yo couch, and you suckin' her tail up in the vacuum cleaner! For reals, I 'bout BUST OUT up in dis piece! Even with eyes filled with Hellfire, that picture do not quite capture da true Machivellian nature of Ms. KIT-TAY! REPRESENT!

As far as S.E. issues, baby, ALL WE WANT is what's beyond THUNDERDOME.