Monday, February 05, 2007


I do not believe that human beings are meant to live in these kinds of temperatures. This morning I checked, which told me it was 14 degrees but “feels like –5”. I know this is exactly the season in which I should be working hard at getting my body together for the summer – when, fat or not, I will be 90% naked 95% of the time – but the temperature makes me want to do nothing more than sit in my apartment playing WoW and engorging myself on blueberry cheese danishes in order to pack on extra fat so I do not freeze to death while waiting on the bus in the morning. It’s tortuous. I am increasingly convinced that Christopher McCandles was fucking crazy.

Like countless other people, I am looking for a miraculously fast way to become physically perfect, though I know the only real way is to make a huge investment in time over a long-term period to exercising and eating right. I cannot figure out where to get the energy to workout in the first place. And I can’t figure out how anyone can resist doughy goodness, or smoking cigarettes, or drinking seventeen cups of coffee per day, or basically just shoving your face with everything that makes life worth living including but not limited to cheese danishes that you get in any decent bodega in town. I did so good last winter – around this same time – and by summer I looked halfway decent. Then I went to Orlando for a week and fell out of the habit and now I’m back on my fat ass* in this apartment lamenting how good I could look if I would have stuck with it.

Anyway, I have been working on my WYSIWYG thing and I think it’s okay though I am terrified of standing in front of people and forgetting how to read.

This past weekend I painted my living room and it looks fierce if I do say so myself. Kevondrala helped me and in fact suggested the project, now I just have to do the borders and get the super up here to do all the repairs from bathroom tileing to replacing the mantel that fell out of the window which is a full time job (the getting them to do it, as he told me the last time he was up here that he was not allowed to because it was too late and the “noise” and what have you).

*My ass is in fact not fat, it could stand to gain a few pounds, but I do look like I’m in the early stages of pregnancy.

1 comment:

Scatty D. said...

I'll be back in town Wednesday Night. I'm ready for a WizzyWig Rehearsal and all the Liquor a Human Being Can Consume this weekend! HOLLA!