Last night I raged against the machine and basically unleashed a rain of fire on Manhattan. Lord have mercy, I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror at one point last night, thought, "You are a MESS" and was completely fine with it.
Anyway. As I have mentioned earlier, I am up for a promotion at work. Ironically this position will involve work with drug and alcohol issues, in which I happen to be well experienced. I’m not sure I should mention that vast experience in the interview process, however.
Now, some true colors have been shining through as late and I don’t know what to make of it. The administrative assistant for the office that the position I’m after is my homegirl. Let’s call her A. A and I eat lunch together from time to time, along with D, who is in my former position.
A is extremely moody. I’ve learned this and when she is in a mood – which is more often than not – I just avoid her. She can come to me, I figure, if she wants to be friendly and chit chat. But the other day she was in a pleasant mood, and we were talking in my little area, and she said casually, “I think I’m going to apply for that position.” I replied, “What position?” and of course it’s the position I applied for as soon as they put it up on the website. So I asked her, “Can I tell you something in confidence?”, and disclosed that I have applied for that position, not to discourage her from doing so but so if and when I get the job, she won’t be shocked or think I went behind or back, or whatever.
She was fine with it. We had lunch later that day, and everything seemed fine.
As an aside, the next day, she had asked me while I was out to pick something up for her, and later I changed my mind about wanting to go out, so I asked D to pick it up and he forgets to do so. So she was pissed off at D, but I apologized because I own the fact that if you say you’re going to do something for someone you should do it. But it’s not that big a deal – but she was mad.
Whatever, I figured it would pass, it’s not exactly like “pick up my kids”, it was something that wasn’t going to ruin her life.
Anyway, the next day, I’m in another friend’s office, T, and she mentions that she had been talking with Boss Lady at the big meeting they were at together, and Boss Lady was telling her how she’s pretty certain I’m going to get that job and things are going to be changing. I told her I was excited, but trying not to get my hopes up because I’ve learned a thing or two about curveballs up in the WCA. The thing is I’ve known T for many years and I feel particularly close to her, and think of her as someone I can really, really trust with these kinds of things.
We talk further, and I say, “It’s a tricky situation…” and I tell her about the exchange between A and I, but only after she said that she hopes that A doesn’t just assume that she’s going to move right into the position because she works in that office already. She agreed that I had done the right thing by telling her. Then we talked about Boss Lady’s concern about who will take my position, and it just so happens it’s between A and D. Now the thing is, I don’t think D can do it. And A might could do it, but her moodiness would last for about TEN MINUTES with Boss Lady, who constantly running bitches. Nonetheless, no one will ever do it like I do it. Honestly, I don’t know how the place would go on if I weren’t there. I do everything -- it’s like running a daycare in many ways. I don’t have the title or the salary to show it, but I really am HBIC up in that piece. WHAT.
But I digress. I really don’t care one way or the other who gets THAT job as long as I get MY job. Boss Lady has been talking to me with certainty that I will be getting the position, although the Director (who is under Boss Lady) has not shown me such certainty. Boss Lady even asked me if I wanted to ask her anything about the position, at which point my diarrhea of the mouth disclosed to her that I am awful at interviews but there’s nothing I really want to ask her about it at this time.
So after T and I talked, I stepped off, and when I return A is in her office, and as I approach to say “Hey, I haven’t seen you all day!” they become completely and instantly silent. A just looked at me with a half grin and a head-turn. So as it was seemingly obvious that they were talking about me, I left, and when I left the clincher happened: they closed the door.
The question is this: Is this about the job or the fucking item I didn’t pick up? And if it’s about the job, then why was she so cool no-hard-feelings about it, until the next day?