Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Too Much Information

My cat has grown increasingly insane, and being the diabolical little critter that she is, she waits until my head hits the pillow to SPRING TO FUCKING LIFE. Last night she started up with the sneezing, which I need to get checked out as the respiratory infections are a common occurrence with cats from shelters, and I lifted her up to remove her from the bed, she clawed the crap out of me so, as a paranoia ridden country boy my mind immediately turns to cat scratch fever. I have nearly washed the skin off my arm. Anyway, I have banished her from my office and the bedroom, and she is very unhappy about this.

I bought her this fancy new litter box with a cover and a swinging door, which she steadfastly refuses to use, so I went back to the other one.

Today at work, we had a meeting for most of the day, and right as we were getting ready to take a break, my colleague turns to me and says, "I think you have something in your eye." She reached delicately and pulled, strait out of the pink corner of my eye, A CAT HAIR.

This is reminiscent of the pierced toe incident when Meow Kitty was around. (Meow Kitty, by the way, is doing fine. I saw her when I visited North Carolina and she is as sedated as ever, if not more so.)

So now I'm terrified of her hair shedding.

While I was in Greensboro, the mosquitoes were in full force, and one bit me on the back of my head. I was scratching it this morning and later at work noticed blood under my fingernails so I freaked out and then realized it must be from the back of my head. So I had someone look and pat it down with alcohol.

I got home today and Jackie had not done any damage around, and seemed pretty relaxed on this hot summer day, so I sat down with her to brush her and have a chat. I said, "Jacqueline, how is daddy ever going to find a man with such a dirty apartment between the two of us, your porcupine-like quills shooting into people's eyes and your crazy ass climbing all over the bed and its occupants, cat scratches all over my arms, and a bloody wound on the back of my head?" She laid her head in my lap and looked up at me with that unbalanced turn of the head as if to say, "Why would you need anyone but me?"

Also, Jackie is part monkey.


bitchphd said...

aww, don't banish the kitty from the bed! :(

Scatty D. said...

I'm sorry, and I know this may be hateful (even though I am an animal lover) but I agree with our Mamas on this issue. W.W.J& N.D?