Friday, November 30, 2007

Highway to Heaven

This is a RIOT:

"Abortion clinics, gay bars, strip joints, and porn shops" -- or what I like to call, "a good time"!

Don't miss the queen at 2:22 who got "filled" with the spirit and compares it to "tripping on acid". Woah!

Does Cindy Jacobs look crazy or what? By the way, I am so calling myself a "prophetic intercessor" from here on out.

[via JoeMyGod]

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I am moving to Europe.

Okay not really, but I am ready to! My trip to Europe was a blast, a highlight of my little career here, and -- it sounds extreme -- a highlight of my life so far. When I got to Prague I immediately knew that I was misborn. I am totally meant to be living the rest of my life in a fallen communist nation that has modernized and entered the 21st Century. Although I am not so crazy about the subarctic temperatures of late November. Come to think of it I'm not crazy about that in New York either.

All that said though I was ready to kiss the ground upon my return to America. I have never been so happy to see JFK Airport. The first thing I did was change my money back to dollars and buy a cup of coffee -- which is surprisingly hard to find in the land of "espresso" and "latte". I just wanted some damn FOLGERS, what?!

Also, 9 hours on an airplane without a cigarette and Mr. Fatelbows beside me was unpleasant to say the least. Then they start showing Spiderman 3 which I had to turn away from because I can't take looking at Kirsten Dunst's scary facial expressions and mannerisms while I'm on an already scary aircraft. THEN they showed "First Daughter" starring Katie Holmes who honestly does freak me out -- did so even before marrying Tom Cruise and Scientology and birthing Xenu Jr. -- with those wierd cheeks and creepy side smile, and soulless look in the glassy eyes...I thought I was going to lose it. So I read a lot of Wicked -- which I love by the way -- and tried to fall asleep from eating a handfull of Tylenol PM but I couldn't even put a dent in the wakefullness that extreme discomfort causes. I'm about 5 inches too tall for air travel, believe it.

In Prague, the strangest thing happened to me several times. When I was walking around, trying to take in some sights and do a little shopping (incidentally it is a blatant lie that they use the Euro in the Czech Republic, so I never knew what anything cost -- 500 CZK? I don't know? Is that expensive?) these kids kept running up to me and talking to me a mile-a-minute in Czech. I did like I do in New York (just keep walking when there's some bullshit happening you don't want to deal with) but they would follow up alongside me, continuing to talk excitedly in squiggly lines and sideways colons that I don't understand. These were like kids in their 20's, looking like typical 20-somethings, who were not hostile but were kind of AGGRESSIVE. So I would say, "I'm sorry, I don't speak Czech," to which they would reply, "Oh! No problem!", slap me on the shoulder, and go away. Baffling.

Driving across the border to get to Germany required a quick pass through Poland. So they'd check our passports (five nationalities in one car -- you know they scrutinized them) and then we'd roll up a bit and the Germans would do the same thing. Zittau is gorgeous and old and modern and just really inspiring.

I'm ready to go back for a longer trip without a bunch of WORK to do while I'm there. More later perhaps but I have to dig myself out from under this pile of work.

Plotting and planning a vacation,


Monday, November 26, 2007

Triple Border

In this photo you can see the Czech Republic, Poland, and Germany.

More on my trip later...I'm having to restrain myself because I could talk about it for hours.

Friday, November 23, 2007

My favorite song.

Car Crash
by Courtney Love

There's a ghost on the highway,
And I wanna run it down.
There's a phantom in my bed,
and I'm all alone now.
I've seen every hotel,
I've seen every rehab.
There is nothing I haven't done,
There is no one I haven't had.

Would you be there when the lights,
When the lights get shot right out?
Would you be there when the roof,
When the roof comes crumbling down?

And I know myself too well.
And the Devil speaks to me.
And he's got me pinned down now,
Telling me I'm so empty.
Oh just say you're sorry now,
And you'll never do it again.
Take the edge right off and keep it
'Cause you'll never be high again!

Would you be there when the lights,
When the lights get shot right out?
Would you be there when the roof,
When the roof comes crashin' down?
Would you be there when the Devil,
When the Devil comes for me?
Would you be there when the lights
go black and empty?

And I live in a box.
And I die in this hole.
And you hold the keys
to the
And I don't wanna go,
But I can't seem to come.
And it's not up to me,
It's up to you.

And at all tomorrow's partys
I will be the anointed one.
And when you all start to miss me,
oh just pass me the gun.
And it's Valentines again
and there's nothing here for me.

Would be there when the lights,
When the lights come crashin down?
Would you be there when the roof,
When the roof comes crumblin down?
Would you be there when the Devil
Takes me to the Underground?
Would you be there when the night
Stays night all year 'round?
Would you be there in the ice,
In the frost and cold and freeze?
Would you be there anytime
When I'm here out on my knees?

Friday, November 16, 2007

Why you comin' home, five in morn?

There's an old joke from Def Comedy Jam -- I forget the comedian -- but, basically, it was about how you can tell your man has been cheating on you when he comes home smelling like he would after a normal day of work, except his dick is Irish Springs fresh.

Well, I don't know if the artists behind this YouTube gold know that joke, but here ya have it. By the way this might be the most NSFW thing to appear here in a long time.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

hey mike

This is what this blog was supposed to be, until the cat got let out of the bag.

I do not have the time, energy or patience to be chasing down a man.

So these fools better call when they say they’re gonna call. And if you leave any belongings with me and I don’t hear from you for long enough, it will quite possibly be thrown to the cats who will promptly tear it into pieces.

I am going to Prague on Saturday. The nine hour flight will likely kill me, but if it doesn’t, and if you don’t hear about a plane en route to the Czech Republic having to be grounded because of an American passenger gone mad, I plan on having a grand ole time until Sunday, when I will be taken by car across the border into Zittau, Germany. On Wednesday I depart from Prague arriving in NY on Thursday afternoon. I am very excited about this trip and hope I have time to enjoy the localities. Zittau ain’t exactly the metropolis you hear about, but Berlin isn’t too far away. If you have any information on these places as pertains to the gay business traveler, please advise.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


Good things that happened:

I got high praise from my boss, in front of the whole department (I wasn't present).
I got a lot of work done, despite two big long meetings.
I confirmed that my hotel rooms for Prague are bedbug free.
I talked to love-interest number two, who IM'd.
I talked to love-interest number one, who called.
I started getting over this cold, with the aid of Alka Seltzer Gel Caps, aka The Hardcore.
I leveled my paladin to 40 and can now summon a warhorse, wear plate armor, and cast Blessing of Life.

Bad thing that happened:

I discovered that I am the victim of IDENTITY THEFT! How these people got so much credit baffles me, as I wouldn't be able to do it, and I'm the REAL ME. An investigation and resolution process is underway.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Mattachine Brooks

While it is becoming clear that "evil is deeply embedded in the DNA of Facebook", I have to say the evil is alluring. The add-ons are annoying, but its one more place that long-lost people can find you...most of the time, people you'd want to. At any rate, I'm more of a MySpace user, and I've re-connected with a lot of people, including an old friend of mine from college.

Well this friend has well documented, photographic evidence of Mattachine Brooks in her younger years. He sent them to me on MySpace and I am truly baffled. It takes me BACK, and there are also some other surprise faces in these photos. They are top secret confidential however and will not be posted here!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Sunday, November 11, 2007

RIP Meow Kitty, 19?? - 2007

Meow Kitty
Originally uploaded by butch stroll

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." --Matthew 5:4

It is with great sadness we report on the death of Meow Kitty, of Winston-Salem, NC. Ms. Kitty lived most of her life in Queens, NY until moving with her family in 2006. She was a long time victim of Failure to Thrive Syndrome and a lack of teeth. Long time readers of this blog will recall her inability to eat dry food, and her habit of eating wet food with her paws, causing cat food splattering all over the kitchen walls, much of which remains to this day. Reports are calling the death an accident -- a bitter irony given the length of her poor health -- though three big dogs are involved. One of them allegedly fell on her and broke her neck, causing a quick, painless death. She is survived by her cousins, Jackie and Buddy, both of Queens, and her father and stepfather, Mitchell and Sergio, of WInston-Salem. She will be missed by all who knew and loved her.

Friday, November 09, 2007

In the immortal words of Ms. Courtney Love, "I will fuck you up/I will feel no guilt"

Here we have a young Jacqueline Susann testing the waters with her new (older, bigger) brother, Buddy Man. She has been seeing how far she can push him, with a poke here, a prod there...and it's only a matter of time before he pounces on her and destroys her.


Wednesday, November 07, 2007

A little something I like to call THE STORY OF MY FUCKING LIFE

(except those "good at all the sports", understanding grandmother, and "someday he's going to be a father" parts. Though I am father to two perfect, well-behaved cats.)

I remember this from back in the day. If I recall correctly, it was pretty well known and, given the emphasis on William's heterosexuality in the end, well loved by young and old. Didn't do a bit of good when I wanted The Misfits from Jem and the Holograms for Christmas, though.

[via Helpychalk]

Indulge me this nerd moment,

but this is why Palidans with retribution spec pwn all.

I mean, that shit is just funny.

Goddess on a Mountaintop

I am fascinated by Little Lakshmi Tatma, the girl born in India with multiple limbs. She is doing well after the surgery to remove her parasitic twin. She is thought by people in her village to be the reincarnation of the Hindu goddess of wealth, who shares her name. I thnk little Lakshmi is much cuter though.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007


I have just had a genius idea for an invention, but I don't even know how to begin bringing it to life, so have at it. Wireless USB ports. For example, you have a digital camera that you need to get the pictures off of on your computer. Instead of having to look for the stupid cord like I've been doing for hours, you simply push a button and the USB port on the computer magically and cordlessly connects to the camera. I'm sure there is something like this out there, but let me go on believing I'm the first to think of it please.

What has sparked this idea is the fact that I want to post pictures of Buddy, my new cat, in action with Jackie, my other cat. They are wary of each other -- a little hissing and some crazy noises I've never heard from a living thing coming from Jackie's gut -- but they are learning to love each other. Last night I brokered a peace agreement, and I think that, soon enough, they will be best friends. Jackie is pretty small, sassy, and prissy, while Buddy is BEHEMOTH, lazy, and rugged. They are the Mutt & Jeff of cats.

I keep telling Jackie, "that's your brother. You have to love him." Both of them are busy talking to me but even though I know some bits and pieces, I'm not fluid in cat-language.

Friday, November 02, 2007


I hope everyone had a wonderful Halloween. Halloween is my favorite holiday, and really the only one I enjoy celebrating. I was in Fort Worth, Texas which is the bastard child of Dallas and the year 1973, so I didn't get to do much, but I did go out to the local gay bars which was an ... experience. People kept asking me if I was having "culture shock" in Texas, to which I would reply that I used to live in Texas, and I come from a long line of this countries finest rednecks, so I feel right at home. I went as an alcoholic motormouth and I didn't even have to buy a costume!

A lot happened, that night actually, including the driving of a vehicle that is not mine for someone I don't know who was way too drunk and who gave me a gift of some tabby cologne from Niemen Marcus, where he worked, and was very proud of the fact. That will come to light later.

Now I'm waiting on my new roommate to get here, and I have done nothing to prepare for her immenent arrival. I have to make the space for all this. On Sunday Buddy, the cat, will make his transition as well. There is going to be pussy all over this place.