Monday, February 04, 2008

The Sad Truth

Since I got sick a little while back, I fell out of my every-other-day gym schedule, which I was just back into thick after falling out of it before due to a trip I took to Orlando. That's neither here nor there, but anyway it had come around time for me to renew my membership at Gym 1, and when they called -- and they called A LOT -- I finally answered the phone and declined. The dude asked me, "What can I do that will make you renew your membership," to which I replied, "Well for one thing you can CLEAN that nasty place!" I feel like I'm getting MRSA just walking through the damn doors.

So I joined my homegirl's gym -- the Fancy Gym up the road a bit -- and upon my first visit there I was disoriented and a bit confused. I didn't know where anything was and I got on a machine that I thought was the elliptical machine but it was something crazy that I didn't understand, so after pushing a lot of buttons I just got off and roamed around a bit and then took my ass home, defeated.

But I knew this was just because I was unfamiliar, in a new environment, so tonight I went back and was all into it. I did my torturous 30 minutes on the elliptical machine, and was moving along, doing some triceps to prevent mud flaps, and suddenly and without warning, one of the employees comes down the stairs and announces, "Ladies and gentlemen, the gym is CLOSING!"

What? Apparantly there had been some kind of emergency, and people were livid. The entire crowded population of the gym moved towards the lockers and began an exodus. People were asking the sales manager guy -- who signed me up and who I think is a little sweet on me in a heterosexual kind of way -- why this was happening and he refered them to speak to the manager in the morning. When I got outside there were two ambulances out there...perhaps someone fell out doing too many squats or something.

I was really amazed at how indignant people became over the whole episode. I mean, I kind of understand, I pay my monthly fee too and damn! You closing early on us. But, secretly and somewhat shamefully, I was happy I had an excuse to stop working out and just take my disgusting lethargic ass home.

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