Thursday, February 14, 2008

Stuff White People Like

"They said there were white people at the Humbolt Sink. They were the first ones my father had seen face to face. He said they were not like 'humans'. They were more like owls than like anything else. They had hair on their faces, and had white eyes. My father said they looked very beautiful...." --Princess Sarah Winnemucca Hopkins, in Life Among the Paiutes as quoted by Joanne Meschery in Truckee, California: A History

Via Carolyn Castiglia I discovered Stuff White People Like which is really funny. As a white person I am something of an expert on the subject of stuff white people like and the site is pretty accurate in most cases. It is reminiscent of ye olde Black People Love Us, another funny site about White People.

What is really funny, however, is some of the comments on both of those websites. Many white people do not like white people jokes! Even when they’re pretty mild! Lots of people have no sense of humor. And to think, number 50 is “Irony”. Go figure.

Anyway, this is all to say that during my visits around the internet I have been shocked to discover some things that are generally accepted about, but largely unknown to, White People. Here are a list of things you can learn from the online study of White People from such places as blackplanet.com and bgclive.com. (This list is edited as the spirit moves.)

White people…
smell like dogs, especially when wet and/or sweating.
eat raw meat. (Has no one seen Mommie Dearest? “It’s not raw, it’s rare!”)
wear crocs
are pink or at least have pink penises
wear t-shirts and shorts in the middle of winter given a little sunshine
kiss their pets on the mouth
don’t put mustard in their potato salad
don’t season their mac and cheese
do not use washcloths (I own this one, though I do know fellow White People who do use washcloths)
…to name a few.

Anyway, here’s the top ten rock songs black people love.

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