So last night, in all of my infinite wisdom, I went out and drank way too much the night before I had my big presentation on SUBSTANCE ABUSE PREVENTION. I was hung over this morning and after two Aleve and lots of fluids, I pulled myself together and my presentation was a smashing success, earning me higher marks on the evaluation than even my boss received. They liked me, they really liked me!
Here in Arizona – a state that I have started to full on fall in love with – I met two guys. One picked me up for our night on the town and the other met us out. They both were really, really nice, but one of them was just so fucking good looking it hurt a little bit to look at him. Just beautiful, perfect body, perfect face, but I kept in line with my good girl routine that I’m doing lately, and also thinking he’s really nice and I’d like to have him as a friend but he wouldn’t imagine in a hundred years thinking of me like that. But he did, at least a little bit and after I had sucked down 6 vodka-and-sodas and we all wound up back here at the resort. Where my work thing is taking place. Where our participants and staff are running around. I had all been meant to be so sweet and innocent, which it was to an extent, but I digress…
Anyway, this morning I woke up at like 7:00 buck naked with a throbbing headache, so I put on the hotel’s terrycloth robe, hair going everywhere, eyes bloodshot, face a wreck, coffee cup in hand, curtain wide open with a two hotass black boys sleeping in my bed, and I stepped out onto the balcony to smoke a cigarette.
I get to smoking and thinking about the day ahead and my work duties, when I hear, like a primitive arrowhead being smashed into my head repeatedly, “HAY! STROLL! HAY! HAY!” I look around through blurred vision and a cloud of cigarette smoke only to see my coworker on her balcony fully dressed to the nines, with a big chipper fucking smile on her face, excited and ready for this presentation, waving with both her hands, bright as a thousand suns shining on my vampiric, pained face like I’m gonna somehow miss seeing the bitch.
I just sat the coffee mug down on the table, dropped my half smoked cig into it, turned around and walked back into the room.
In other news I called this woman a cunt in front of my boss who, I could tell, was deeply offended by my use of the "c" word, but it is true...oh well.