Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Out Damn Spot

I have a lot on my mind, havn't been blogging much, just trying to get through the day to day. I have a lot to do in the next three days before I head to NC for the week, then off to Saint Thomas. I am so excited for Saint Thomas I could squeal. And have a time or two.

My roommate was in the hospital for a few days -- she'll be fine, she just can't eat all the shit she loves to eat, and has to keep her blood sugar under control. How evil am I though? When she called and told me, I had not been at home the night before and was leaving my friend's house. The first thing I thought was, "How does this effect her moving out August First like I told her."

I really have let things go to far with her from day one. I anticipate problems getting her out of here. And I'm so sick and angered by the fact that her boyfriend still lives here. After all the discussions, all the leeway that I've given them, am I supposed to just accept this illusion that he does not? I told her I wanted him to give a third of the electric bill for the last few months. She said, "Yes, I've said that too," since it's summer and all and the bills will be high with two air conditioners running when neither of us are even here! I should have said a third of the rent and utilities from the moment it was clear he was a fucking resident up in this piece. I'm too easy. I have been such a pussy during this whole time. How come I can push a grown man to the ground in Times Square and proceed to lecture him while on the ground regarding subway etiquitte, but I feel like I have to tip toe around this bitch. Working together has something to do with it. She knows the real deal, and the deal the big shots at work are going to say is not entirely true, and she could, if she wanted to, get hateful around that. Anyway, I am the giver in the expression "give someone an inch and they'll take a mile." The level of resentment I feel is overwhelming. When I hear them, it makes me want to murder them both. I have learned a lesson at the expense of everything in my life, including my quality of life has suffered from trying to do something nice for someone in November. Look where it got me. I need to have another talk with her now that she's out of the hospital. Reinforce August 1 as her move out date, and no "is that realistic?" thoughtfulness, just "Be out by August 1." I'll probably lose money on this. Rent, electric will be disregarded if she knows she's leaving. Lord knows I've been stiffed already a time or two on things. Meanwhile it is going to cost me a million bucks to move that I don't have...I'll figure that out though.

The bedbug thing in the trash room has me so freaked out and there's nothing really that can be done at this point. Even though they are not here, knowing they are in the building is going to make me crazy. I have to stave them off until I move.

In positive news, I had a doctor's visit today and it made me feel much better. Health concerns I have had are not much concern now.

By the way, anybody want two cats?


MT said...

I remember living situations like that as the worst nightmares of my life. I'm not sure I learned anything that it would be a favor to pass along. There's a supposed feel-good movie recently out around this subject, but I guess it's liable to be a feel loathsome fairy tale.

Stroll said...

I have had some DOOZIES over the years, but at this point in life, I am just way too old for this bullshit.