Wednesday, August 13, 2008

And when you all start to miss me, oh just pass me the gun...

People ask me if I’m going to New York, and the answer is, “of course I will miss New York”. I have lived here for nearly nine years. That’s not a lot of time but it’s also an eternity. In nine years time, there has been hardly a day that I have not said, “Now, I’ve seen it all.” I’ve met important and fabulous people, I’ve made my routine, I’ve broken my routine, I’ve taken to stages and left a trail of destruction. I’ve gotten an education within the walls of one of the City’s and the world’s finest institutions of learning as well as outside those walls on dark and dirty streets at unheard of hours. I’ve learned that people sometimes come to New York for the excitement of it all, and to get their name out there in bright lights, but sometimes people come for the anonymity.

If you want to be a star, the Capital of the World is a good place to start. Yet, if you want to go unnoticed, there is no place to do it like a chaotic sea of eight million people. I’ll miss that anonymity to an extent. I’ll also miss that every day stage, the stepping out into a grand show that is happening all around you. Either route is an option for any day of the week. I worry that I won’t fit in in Charlotte. I don’t fit in anywhere…but no place is more comfortable for a misfit than New York City. I just can’t really abide by cliques, and my experience with North Carolina, especially the gay North Carolina, is that it’s cliquish. Add that to the fact that it’s kind of small in number and, to quote Heidi Klum, you’re either in, or you’re out. Charlotte is metropolitan, but not cosmopolitan. Look it up if you have to. Anyhoo, I’m sure I’ll find my niche, or dig one for myself.

Not to get too cheesy on your asses, but I feel a lot like the vampire Lestat, who, in the midst of the performance that was the pinnacle of his success as a rock star, knew when it was time to get off stage-- the sun was rising above. The sun has risen for me and it’s time to head back to the Motherland, the above notwithstanding.

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