Monday, November 03, 2008

Neglect

Kind of mirroring what is happening in the world, my life is in a wierd period of flux and uncertainty right now. I close on purchasing a house on November 10. I increasingly find myself not really knowing what I'm doing at work and neglecting it.

Yet I feel good about things. I feel like there must be something out there, some perfect niche for me where I am supposed to be making my living. It is not the Church. I have liked working there, more or less, but sometimes I really can't believe that it has been nearly ten years. I've got to go places I would have never been, and do things I would have never done without this job. But it's time to activate Operation Back Up Plan. There are major changes happening in the Church and in my organization in particular, and I don't like 'em one bit. Attitudes are like the seasons and in the end it's all politics and scandal up in that piece.

I feel good about things. I feel good about meeting a single guy that is into me and accepts me for my flaws. I feel good about the black president that is going to be elected tomorrow, if all goes well. I feel good about my house and my future choices. I'm going to turn over a new leaf and it will take me a while to tear right through it.

I am just under such a huge amount of pressure. Pressure to get the job done. Pressure to do the right thing. I don't even know what the right thing is half the time. That sounds totally psychopathic, but seriously. I know, I know, cry you a river.

Anyhoo, as some special little person once wrote, "It's time to rise and shine again."

1 comment:

K. said...

Congrats on the house!

I hope things keeping falling into place well for you.