Monday, January 28, 2008

OH YEAH!

While in Chelsea today, I passed by Burgers & Cupcakes, about which I gave a negative review some time back. Well I now report that Burgers & Cupcakes has been shut down with a big FOR LEASE sign on the signage. And thus the power of The Butch Stroll has been wielded against a disappointing eating establishment.

Not a coincidence that "culture" also describes bacterial growth in a petri dish.

Today I took the entire day off work to go to a doctor's appointment that was scheduled for 2:00 PM and took all of 30 minutes. This was unrelated to the phage that I had earlier, which I have been miraculously cured from. My staff of doctors and specialists are keeping me ALIVE and ABLE!

This appointment was in Chelsea so I had to get in and out quick since I wasn't wearing my burqa, and having finished my newspaper I needed some reading material for the train ride back, so I did what I never do: I bought a magazine. Time Out NY to be exact, the issue dedicated to how to remain "sane" in NYC. Honey let me tell you those magazine people don't know shit. If a walk in Central Park or "art therapy" was gonna do the trick, I would have already finger-painted my park-walking ass into a portrait of Mental Health.

But as I grow increasingly insane -- which is directly related to irritation and frustration with the hell of other people -- I have managed to find a moment's solace in The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, wherein one of the points he makes is that religion gets a free pass for "respect" no matter what. We are allowed to criticize and ridicule anything but religion. Well I would go one step further and expand from "religion" to "culture". How much loud, obnoxious, offensive behavior do I have to put up with in the name of "culture"? "Culture" ranges from slicing up young girls genitals to talking too loud to not bathing...it's a catch-all that lets people get away with some shit that we should not just accept from people, because it's their "culture". I hate your culture. Maybe we're all just using the word too loosely.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Girl Fight Tonight

Sometimes I am intrigued by the "ball scene" and would like to observe. Sometimes, I am not:



That is like WWE meats GLOW in some high school gymnasium.

"H'WOOD DUO THE BEST AND WORST THING FOR BROOKLYN"

Andrea Peyser is so fucking cool and Brooklyn and normal. She has personal insight into the death of Heath Ledger. She was affected by his living in Brooklyn. She was defiantly not star struck though. She speaks for all Brooklynites, be they in Boerum Hill or not. She was his neighbor. She had mixed feelings about his living there with Michelle and Matilda. They were against the Nets stadium while she was for it. She may never know however seems certain they had liberal guilt and wanted people to like them. She knew how he had changed when he moved to Manhattan. She has soul and Manhattan does not. The whole tragic incident is kind of all about her.

How much do they pay this woman for crap like this?

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Sarah Connor Chronicles

I am obsessed -- obsessed I tell you! -- with Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, which is turning out to be a really good show. But there is something I can't get around, and I don't know if this is going to come up or not in the series. When John, Sarah, and Cameron jumped from the 90's to 2007, wouldn't a 2007 John already be there? Sarah would of course be dead from cancer and Cameron would not necessarily have remained from her original date of arrival...but John we presume would have lived? Can anyone enlighten me on this? Is he gonna run into himself, and which one should the Terminator be trying to kill -- both?

(Okay I figured it out. If they jumped in 1999 to 2007, then from the time of their jump to the time of arrival in 2007, they wouldn't have been in the time in between, duh...)

Heath Ledger Found Dead

Actor Heath Ledger was found dead, at first reported to be in the apartment of Mary Kate Olsen, surrounded by pills, but later the NY Times changed that tidbit. This is quite shocking -- of all the famous people out there, I don't think anyone had their eye on him as going out like this this soon.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Sick

I have been so sick since Friday. Just on the verge of collapse, I can hardly move, I'm so cold, and my head is full of snot. I need a damn home attendent to come in and clean this pit of despair. Anyway I'm tired of that stupid story being the first thing one comes to here so here's Betty -- something to consider as Mitt Romney makes his move for the White House?

Monday, January 14, 2008

The Gay Boy-on-Girl Crush

I called in sick to work today because I am SICK of the bullshit that is going on up there. It was a joy to be home alone without my roommate and her boyfriend here, and to not be in arms reach of Boss Lady and Big Boss Lady, neither of whom are winning my affection lately. This scenario that is playing out is a slap in the face to me. I keep being told “we’re going to do X” but there is no plans whatsoever to do X. I’m being taken advantage of and manipulated, and, because when it rains it pours, this is also happening to me on the homefront -- this apartment is always being some kind of fucking half way house -- but nevermind all that. The lesson learned is that trying to do something nice for people is not always the best bet. My life is falling apart around me and my blood boils just to think about it.

So I went to the gym, as I have been sticking to my every-other-day routine since I started right after the New Year. There is this woman that goes to my gym, probably about 39 or 40, who looks her age, but looks perfect for her age. She is really really pretty and has a perfect body. We have some facial recognition between us – we exchange smiles when we see each other. It encourages my scrawny ass for some reason in this cest pit of massive men. (It really kind of is a cess pit…every time I feel increasingly like I’m getting MRSA just by being there.)

Anyway, I have this huge gay boy-on-girl crush on her! I don’t know if other gay men experience this phenomena, but I get it sometimes with remarkable women. Usually it’s like a professor, or a business associate, but this time it’s with a complete stranger. To quote Excuses for Bad Behavior Part 1, “it’s not sexual, it’s sisterhood.” That she’s sweet to me, an obviously gym-dysfunctional person, doesn’t hurt.

I have her life conjured up in my mind. In this fantastical rendering I have come up with, she lives alone in a fabulous two bedroom apartment in Astoria – which is by choice, because she could live in Manhattan if she damn well chose to. She has a high level job for an art museum, tons of education, and Democratic political leanings, but kind of moderate by New York standards. She runs with the movers and shakers but isn’t afraid to stick her head in some of the more seedy places. She has a hairless cat. She’s a vegetarian except on Sundays when she has dim sum with her girlfriends who are super-fabulous and nothing like the Sex and the City cast.

I could go on with the things I’ve envisioned about this woman. I just imagine her life as being perfect to match her looks.

After the gym tonight, I stopped in the grocery store, as I am known to do, because burning all those calories makes a bitch HUNGRY. While I’m examining a big ass jar of olives, considering purchasing them, I hear her voice saying, “Work sucked! But the gym was good.” I looked over and she looked over, and our eyes met…and we exchanged our usual pleasant smiles.

I wanted to comfort her, and tell her, you have it all! Don’t let them get to you honey! It’s okay that work sucked, work sucks for me too! Let’s be friends! We can counsel each other! I have cats! Please teach me how to be like you!

Then I remembered I don’t even know this woman, and headed for the checkout.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

With ignorance and legitimate excuses...

With the contests for party nomination upon us, and the contest for the presidency imminent, and all the talk about "hope" and "change" and "experience", please allow George to sum up my feelings on the subject:

I plan on continuing to go in Starbucks and in public yet secluded areas.

A pay toilet opened in New York the other day. It was huge in the blogs and made international news. Seriously, people are freaking out about ONE toilet. For 25 cents you get 15 minutes in there. Perfect for a little substance abuse privacy.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

I can't, of course, just quit my job.

Today in discussion with my boss about an important issue that involves my being able to my work, and the proper, efficient functioning of the office, I became exassperated and argumentative, and finally threw my hands up and said, "Fine." Fine with me if you see the need to do things in a way that creates more work for more people and slows the whole process down, and costs a ton of money. Fine with me if you want to do things a certain way and ignore the fact that I have nearly eight years of experience with these things that you don't touch. Fine with me if I continue to do two different jobs and a half-ass job at both of them. Fine with me that you "want to hear your concerns and input" and fine with me that you absolutely disregard them. Fine with me!

I've noted in recent entries that I am impulsive lately. My impulse -- thank God I fought it -- was to just say, "You know, it was really nice working with you. But I won't be coming back in."

Dear Britney Spears

I’ve been a fan and supporter of yours from the beginning. I remember when “Hit Me Baby One More Time” came out. I lived in Texas at the time and my friend Shady and I used to sing along, every word, when it came on the radio. You went through some changes, grew up in years, and, still on top, kept coming out with pop music that I loved. You were kind of like a little Madonna or Janet – icons and pioneers of popular music that are still with us.

I hope that you are still with us in the coming years. Madonna and Janet had their scandals and controversies, but neither of them ever made the news because of being a danger to themselves or others. Like everyone I see the scrutiny you are under, a million photographers and reporters not only hoping you will stumble, but actively trying to cause you to stumble to get that shot for the headline: BRITNEY’S A MESS.

Also like everyone, I’ve seen how that’s gotten to you. Then you opened the VMA’s and a maelstrom of criticism erupted – everything from your weight to your dancing which I know had to be hurtful.

First of all, that man that left his babies’ mama to marry you and have additional children did a NUMBER on you. He has his own conscience to deal with in terms of leaving her, but you have yours to deal with as well. He took you for a ride and got rich and famous in the process. And now with the media’s eye turned up on you more than ever, with bitches like Andrea Peyser, to name just one, writing full page articles about your parenting and lambasting you for your antics, and the cameras still around at all time, you are slipping further into an unreachable spot. Every time you have a “breakdown” it is worse than the time before.

Drugs and mental health problems are not mutually exclusive, and in fact often go hand in hand, and you really need someone to talk to besides Dr. Phil and his crazy, unqualified, publicity whoring ass. You’ve got to take some time out and find someone besides all the people around you who are looking for some coins to take you for. For one thing get away from people who are worried about your “image” but not your well being.

There’s conflict with your mom, and now your little sister has her teen pregnancy to deal with, and this only adds to your troubles and the scrutiny. But slow down. A lot of people were pleased that your latest CD turned out good but a lot of people are rooting for your failure and get giddy at the thought of you really doing damage to yourself. They’re bloodthirsty out there for “Ms. American dream since she was 17”. The thing is, Britney, you can’t give them the pleasure. You’ve got to listen to the judges and do what they say in regards to your kids and, when they are with you in your custody and care, do everything to protect and nurture them. People will forgive you for an awful lot but not for neglecting your kids, or worse.

You’ve got to make the effort not to get caught doing fucked up things while driving. You’ve got to find a way to avoid letting them piss you off so bad that you act out in ways that give them exactly what they want. And for God’s sake stay out from behind the wheel of a car.

I have every faith in you Britney – I know you can make yet another “comeback” from this despite the chatter all around that you can’t. Get your act together and your life back on track and put this current phase behind you.

Love,
The Butch Stroll

Monday, January 07, 2008

Parade Magazine Printed Too Early

When I got to the "Parade" magazine inside Sunday's paper, I discovered that Benazir Bhutto was on the cover, and the article about her, complete with interview, was written as if she had not been assassinated. The magazine went to press before she was killed, making for a kind of surreal reading experience. It's a good article though.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

‘Cause I love so much I hate…

Last night I went with SDA to ole Posh, or “Pursh” as we call it, and immediately upon entry had to plant my feet tightly into the ground and lean forward a little bit to become a pillar in which this queen running like a fool down the crowded side of the bar would smash into, stumbling backwards a bit, catching his balance, and then walking like a normal human being with some damn common sense.

Next, while ordering drinks, this little queen who did not like waiting his turn, sticks his head in the bartenders face and states his order, which the hot bartender man just ignored and took my order. He got a three dollar tip for that. As for the pocket-gay – a gay so tiny that you can stick him in your pocket – he looked at me with frustration and, Norma Desmond I ain’t, but with one look I can break your heart. I loved it.

Leaving, this girl ran up behind me in the very crowded space and slammed into me. I of course stopped causing her to bump into me again, and then she pushed me. I turned around and gave her a menacing look, and she gave me this open-mouthed “I’m appaled” look. I told her with her friends watching, “Don’t push me.” She kept looking at me like that and rather than throwing a cherry in her gaping hole, I asked her, “Or what?” And that was that.

Finally at another spot, Therapy – and honey there is no place more accurately named after what most of these punks, myself included, need – these three boys roll in and the little one says to me, “My friend’s boyfriend just stood him up, can you buy him a drink?” I looked at the friend, and said, “No, but I’m sorry about your boyfriend.” I mean, does that trick really work on people? Shit, if he would’ve at least been cute I probably would have.

In conclusion I am filled with anger, hatred, frustration, stress, and violence in 2008. Now I’m going to the gym because I am dedicated to physical fitness, and hopefully I can burn off some of this steam. lol

Saturday, January 05, 2008

I WILL DESTROY YOU DUMBASS

The rants about frustration with people who do not know how to get on or off the subway without being in the way of everyone are endless. But I have a problem that is going to get me beat up or killed one day. I get loud and sometimes physical with people about it, and, sometimes, it's on behalf of complete strangers.

For example, yesterday when I was getting off the train at 42nd Street, this woman in front of me is trying to get through the crowd of dumbasses standing in front of the opening doors. I'm right behind her. She bumps into this other woman, and the woman whines, "*Excuse* me!", and then -- then! -- a grown ass man PUSHES the woman who was completely in the right trying to get through the crowd.

Oh hell no. This guy was big and mean looking but it didn't stop my lanky, puny self from elbowing him in the gut and pushing him to the ground. People gasped in shock and clutched their pearls. I said, loudly, "DON'T STAND IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING DOORS WHEN PEOPLE ARE GETTING OFF AT RUSH HOUR." And then I walked briskly -- never running because I trip people who run in subway stations -- to my other train, heart beating heavily with satisfaction, all the way home. :)

Friday, January 04, 2008

Probably a photoshop,

and it's no Oscar de la Hoya in drag, but it's, well, remarkable:

The NFL's Kenny Irons in tight t-shirt and booty shorts.

Hot.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Violence and Political Unrest in Kenya

Kenya is all over the news for the (at this point) over 300 dead and 100,000 "displaced" in violence related to the recent elections that were deemed undemocratic by the rival opponent and also outside monitors. This is an alarming situation because we in the West think of Kenya as one of the African continents stable countries. How quickly violence can whip itself up, and violence breeds violence, as violence against one ethnic group is of course seen as the other group's occassion for reciprocal violence.

Anywya, my "internet friends" Brad and Whitney, whose blogs and what-not I have followed for a long time, happen to be Peace Corps volunteers in Kenya at the moment. They are safe but alert. You can read first hand accounts of theirs in their Yahoo group. One of many interesting things they've noted is how people who support the winner of the allegedly rigged vote don't seem to care about the unfairness -- and isn't that the case everywhere? People don't give a crap if it's fair or not as long as their guy wins.

(This is my 1000th post.)