Monday, September 21, 2009

Tempin Ain't Easy (or, It's Hard Out Here for a Temp)

After nearly ten years of being relatively important to an organization, climbing my way up and having things like an expense account, international travel destinations, and my own office, I am now back under the thumb of a temporary employment agency.

I saw the writing on the wall at The World Church of Assimilation, and when the opportunity presented itself to take a voluntary seperation package I chomped at the bit. I was burned out and figured they were gonna make me move back to New York, or eliminate the position anyway, so I took the money and ran. I stand by that decision. It is a great package.

So I figure while I'm getting that package, which includes money, of course, an outplacement services contract, and the look of despair on several faces upon my not letting the door hit me on the ass on the way out, I'll go ahead and make sure I have some additional income for when the time comes that I don't have any money to live on anymore. Always thinking ahead on The Butch stroll!

Honey, somebody get me on NPR to talk about how the economic downturn has affected me. To boot, it's not even the NYC temp cycle, which would land you in some remotely interesting places at least. This is Crown Town, baby, and I'm in call center hell.

I made the mistake of Googling the temp agency and the company, and of course it's all "get out while you have some dignity" horror stories. I can totally see all of it, having mad experience with these kinds of things, and I've only been through six days so far.

I'm sailing right through the training, of course. It is nice to work around younger people for a change, but the real young ones are a trip. The job has to do with employer benefits (ironic on a number of levels not the least of which is that there are no benefits that come with the job) and about 99% of the stuff I already know, having had full time employment before in my life.

Anyhoo, I've made some friends. And some aquaintences. One woman asked me if I wanted to get together over the weekend to study this shit. One man asked me if I would give him $20 for $40 in food stamps. This is where I work now.

Of course the temp agency blows all this smoke up your ass about how you've been chosen because you are a professional with great skills and ability. In fact, they take anybody who fills out the forms and shows up for orientation.

By the way, you know why they say the early bird gets the worm? Because getting up at 6:00 AM is for the birds. Also, I think worms are gross even when they are dehydrated in my driveway.

The agency staff all seem like goobs and the woman that interviewed me, when I saw her in the hall today, gave me the fakest "how are YOOOOOU?" Bitch don't know me from Adam.

To quote Bladezz from The Guild, "Working is soul crushing, I can't believe adults live like this!"

God help me.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

This working shit is for the birds.

This woman in my training group at my new temp job -- which hopefully will be very temp because it is a true fall from grace -- asked me yesterday if I wanted to get together and go over the materials this weekend. It was all I could do to keep from laughing in her face. I ain't looking over this shit on my weekend. I haven't worked a 40 hour week in fifteen years -- and it has taken something of a toll on a bitch.

Also, horror story reviews of both the temp agency and the company are all over the internet. I'm a week in. Let's see how this looks in like a month.

In the meantime I am poor and looking to soup up my resume and use the management services thing that came with my package to it's full potential. However I opened up all the materials today alongside my resume and just played WoW for two hours instead.

It's 12:36 PM and I'm gonna go to Wal Mart. Holla.