Monday, May 31, 2010

Tumblr Photo

Here is a little info and a picture of a rather peculiar spider in my truck.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

RIP Gary Coleman

Growing up, I loved Different Strokes in reruns. Gary Coleman as Arnold was indeed the centerpiece of the show and his cuteness and comedic timing is what made it a success. These thoughts on Gary Coleman might seem melodramatic, but I did feel a sense of pity for Gary Coleman as a public figure, and a wish that he would be able to gain a level of respect for what he was doing.

Gary Coleman’s life had a trajectory that was similar to his TV siblings, Todd Bridges and Dana Plato. He was hugely successful, famous and adored at a very young age, and once the vehicle for his success (the show) ended, there was no where really to go but down. For the rest of his life he could not get a break, and was the butt of many jokes. His small stature didn’t help. It doesn’t take a psychiatrist to see that his life following his television fame was confused and depressed. What becomes of someone whose only success was during childhood? Hollywood and the community of the famous and beautiful can be cruel. If you’re among it but not a part of it you’re nothing. But if you are a part of it and suddenly no longer a part of it, you may feel worse than nothing. It can also be deeply damaging for everyone in the whole world to expect you to be a perpetual child, and for more powerful people in show business to exploit that for reality TV and gonzo style programming. He said when he was running for Governor of California, "I want to escape that legacy of Arnold Jackson. I'm someone more. It would be nice if the world thought of me as something more." But the press and the public had a hard time doing that.

I remember some kind of “where are they now” feature on VH1 several years ago, and one of the topics was David Lee Roth. He was preparing to be interviewed and the cameras captured him realizing that the show was not a mechanism for praise, but rather a collection of nostalgia. He said something along the lines of, “Oh, this is one of those things about people who are old and washed up?” And upon realizing that, even though it may have been an exaggeration, he was out. End of interview, mic removed, walking off stage. It was a telling moment, as if to say, Even if I’m not a superstar anymore, I’ll be damned if you’re not going to treat me like one. Roth went on in recent years to find success on radio and even as a medic, and I do think he’s found his place and a comfort level many years after his run as a rock star.

I think Gary tried to reach that point too. He had some regular jobs, but was always lured back by gigs that were inevitably going to mock him as the man-child, forever attached to the phrase “Whatchoo talkin’ about Willis?”

I think that his appearance on The Surreal Life gave a real glimpse into who he was and what he went through in his life after Different Strokes. In one episode, his co-star on the series, Vanilla Ice, is imploring him to say that famous catch phrase when Todd Bridges is spotted in the restaurant where they are working as part of the show. Vanilla Ice gets more and more animated, egging the crowd on to engage in the mockery of Gary, and growing increasingly mean spirited about it. (Deflect much?) Gary stayed calm, tried to brush it off and let the engagement die down, but Vanilla Ice wouldn’t let up. I don’t recall if Gary gave in and did it in the end just to shut him up, but I think he did.

During the whole thing I felt angered for Gary Coleman. I wanted him to express some of that legendary anger that he was said to have exhibited in his adulthood. I wanted him to remind Vanilla Ice that HE IS HAS BEEN TOO and that at least Gary, whatever he was, was never a phony and a fraud.

But that’s not what happened and with his life ending young I don’t think he ever got a chance to express what it was really like to go from 0 to 42 being Gary. I do hope that those who knew and loved him find comfort, and I hope that his moments of self worth and confidence outweighed the moments of feeling failed.

These are just my thoughts on Gary Coleman. RIP.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Stream of Unconsciousness

Off two days next week which is a blessing and a curse. Then I return to the team for an old client, working with their employees, all of whom are burned out and pissed off. The work will be about their defined contribution plans (aka 401k's) so they will be even more pissed off, since they, like me, are no doubt losing huge chunks of their money.

I need a major, positive life changing event. But what? I feel deterioration. I feel like I'm 100 years old. How do I snap out of this and get pull my life together? I also need people to stop riding my dick about wanting me to do things with them that I can't afford to do (or in some cases just don't want to do). My efforts this long weeekend will be to do everything I need to do for me and my environment and practice some mantras regarding being of value and worth lol.

Both of my parental units will be retired this week. I have them on the brain, hoping they live long and healthy and enjoy their retirements.

I'm going to get ready and head to work. I have my monthly "review" today. Another 30 minutes of waste at Micromanagement Incorporated. If I hear the woman that sits beside me say how she's a "high performer" and all the ass kissing she gets and pushes towards management, I might lose it. I'm surrounded by mostly delusional overpraised idiots who are fitting right in. I on the other hand have seen a little struggle because I have been having a bought of diarrhea of the mouth and unsolicited honesty as of late. Anyhoo.

Maybe Monday or Tuesday I will take a secret trip to the beach, not tell anyone, leave my cell phone behind, and just get my solitude on by the coast. Or maybe I will start NaNoWriMo five months early. Who knows? Perhaps the world is mine. The impoverished, near homelessness, defeated, tired, old aged world.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010


The market is nosediving again and home prices are down a lot. I am just sitting here on my ass getting poorer.

What should I do with that old 401k (which is actually a 403b)? I'm going with the age old wisdom of leave it alone and let the market recover unless you have better advice. As for the house, all I can do is try to keep it from collapsing around me...big ambitions for the weekend as a homeowner. I need a staff.

Of to work the late shift here in a few.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Professions I Should Have Chosen

People often ask me what is it that I "really want to do" or what is my "real passion in life".

Well first off my passions in life are things that aren't going to earn a living, many of which could possibly result in jail time. Secondly, the things that I "really want to do" are lines of work that I'm probably not going to ace the interview for.

Here is my list of professions I think I would enjoy and be awesome at.

1. Spy
2. Private Investigator
3. Counselor of some sort (the best professional counselors are a little crazy themselves)
4. Celebrity PR (tell those bitches what to say/do in regards to scandals)
5. Repo man
6. The interventionist on Hoarders (though first site of a bedbug and I'm OUT, and I would have limited patience with resistance to throwing things away)

More to come on this list.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Gulf Oil Spill

Lots of unfortunate politicing around the matter, when the focus should of course be on, you know, saving the planet.

It's 2500 square miles (at least) and growing. Just so saddening and frightening. I hate to be a pessimist but I don't have much faith in the activities to stop the flow. I do hope they can.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I know this is late

as "Telephone" and all the parodies have been around for a while now. I tweeted this a while back but wanted to put it here because it is such an awesome (re)take on the "Telephone" madness.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Speaking of work, this is my typical customer...

"Did you know I'm a computer whisperer?" LOL

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

The Internet and its End Users and Knowing the Fights

I met with my former boss for lunch today, to catch up on things. We were talking about our next steps since we've both left our mark at the former organization, and I was talking about my current job and what I'd like to do. Ideally, I could find a job that incorporates my technical skills with my soft skills. Something in "training" would be ideal. Lately some opportunities have been opening up and I'm hoping something good pans out so I can escape my curren sweat-shop-meets-prison work environment.

The current job involves a lot of callers who really have no idea how to operate a simple website. Many companies these days require that you do certain human resources functions online, like sign up for your benefits or report your sick days. You know you have a long call ahead of you when you ask "Are you using a Mac?" and the answer is "I have no idea." For example. It's a damn shame. Don't even get me started on trying to define and explain web browsers and why they need to be using one instead of another. I am definitely not a developer or a computer programmer, but I thank my lucky stars that I kind of have an intuition about technology and some good skills with operating such. Life would be more difficult if I did not, and these days, if you ask me, having and using internet access is akin to needing to have and knowing how to use a fucking telephone.

I'm of the age that I remember a time when there was no internet. I'm fortunate to have grown up in a time that saw the introduction of the home computer and its development up to this point, alongside email, the internet, and other technologies such as smart phones (which I have never owned but think I could manage to figure out if I did get my hands on one).

For the callers, though, I just wonder how you can possibly be born after 1980 and not know the difference between the address bar and the search box. Or how you have made it through life this far without understanding a registration and login process. The older you are, the more sympathy I have for you.

The older callers, in their fifties and sixties, who just don't get it and need a literal step by step walk through, are usually very nice and so grateful that someone is helping them figure it out.

I look at them and think about myself, and how I keep up with technology, and what's new, and what's the next big thing. I really hope that there does not come a time when I fall out of the loop, the next important consumer technology comes out, and I have to ask my friend's kids how the fuck to use it. Or to do things on it for me.

Strangely, World of Warcraft can make me feel like this which is why I abandoned Azeroth. Enough with fifteen year olds yelling at me over a Ventrilo connection because I "don't know the fights".

Sunday, May 02, 2010

For most of my life I have been a dumb horse

chasing a carrot on a stick.