Friday, April 23, 2010


I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that, and I in fact like lesbians a lot and relate to them in many ways, but I am not one. I get so many hits here from being linked by "all lesbian" blogrolls, and I love being linked and am honored to be in good company, but I'm not a lesbian. CLEARLY the word "butch" is leading people to this assumption. I am a gay man in my 30's who is 29.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Butch Stroll in Overtime

My job is based on micromanagement. Since day one, most of the people doing the "grunt work" are contractors from the temp agency, and they have been weeding them out from day one. I have held on and survived to this point, and am in the group that is considered "ongoing". So I've proven something, I guess.

My boss now does our weekly reviews and for everything I do not get the highest mark but "satisfactory". She's constantly stating how I can get to the next level, which, whatever. While she was on vacation last week the fill-in for her did our reviews. I scored over the top. So, suffice it to say the boss is just a tough grader.

We go by these systems that measure certain aspects of how we spend our time, and if they're off -- they're always off becuase of schedule changes and system updates -- then we're supposed to send her the explanation within a tight time frame. I, of course, comply with this.

While she was on vacation, I sent one of these emails a day after the fact because the system wasn't even updated to show ANY information. I sent it to everyone I'm supposed to and copied her, even though she wasn't in the office.

Today, same thing: sent her an update a day late becuase the system wasn't even available to check on the actual day.

I get this reply from her shortly after about how I'm not "meeting the expectations" because it was not sent RIGHT THEN and all this other jargon and jibberish about my "competencies" being effected during the monthly review (they do constant reviews).

I replied to her explaining, but I had replied thinking that she had replied to my most recent email but it was about the one last week when she wasn't even there. So I goofed at firing off an email including my subtle yet bitchy tone, just like her email contained.

I explained in person to her that I thought she had replied to the other email, and she was listening to something else so I said nevermind and now I'm all like fuck it.

The point is she's hot and cold, extremely moody and I just don't get the whole bitch face attitude from her on a daily basis. I mean, you got the job honey. Chill out.

But what sucks I still have to go on smiling and nodding at anything that comes up in my reviews because she has the power to make things happen or not happen, and I want to succeed while I have to be there even though I am on a frantic yet half hearted search for something else. Half hearted because the job search is getting depressing.

Meanwhile I have volunteered for every waking hour of overtime I can get while it's available because it won't always be when things slow down. I know I am going to regret this after working seven days this week, with several of those days being twelve hour days. WTF am I thinking. I need the money so desperately though especially after the Car Robbery Incident of 2010. I'm getting the window fixed tomorrow though and thankfully the insurance will cover it at 100%.

I need a big change. I have invites to Texas and New York and I would love to escape but I'm gonna need money and time off both of which are hard to come by. So we'll see.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

A Bitch Has Been Through It

Lord. Sunday night I went out to ye olde gay bar, Scorpios, to celebrate my birthday which was Friday, and when I was coming out to my truck there was a slew of police in the parking lot. I thought there must have been a fight or something. Turns out, like fifteen cars had been busted into, and to my horror I found that my passenger window had been smashed in and my car rummaged through. Usually there is nothing of value in there, as I have nothing of value to begin with, but I did leave my wallet in the glove box and it was one of the ultra rare times that it was filled with money. So I'm out of a wallet, a window, three hundred bucks, and my dignity at having to explain to my father (who technically owns the truck) that the vehicle was burglarized in the parking lot of a GAY BAR on a SUNDAY NIGHT.

At least I wasn't shit faced drunk rolling up on the cops like that. Also, totally would have slept with one of them but that's beside the point. The insurance is covering the window replacement, so until they send the mobile service to the house tomorrow, I'm gonna be riding around like true white trash: in a dirty pick up truck with a plastic bag window that makes an ear piercing noise flapping in the wind.

Now the bright side of this is that at least the thieves had the decency not to tear anything up just to be mean. But they totally hit the jackpot with me and the amount of cash they got off with. They left behind my walkman style CD player because, depending on how old they were, they might not have even known what it was.

I've been working mad overtime at work, taking it while it's available, and it's a good thing considering I am impoverished and have some more repairs to do to the house alongside paying the mortgage and trying to eat at least one meal per day. I'm still looking for my dream job. In the meantime, I'm mostly on the late shift taking your calls and listening to you mindlessly bitch like I make the rules and of course founded the damn company. If you know nothing else about the call center you're calling please understand that the representative you reach is about as low on the totem pole as you can go. When you ask them "Why are yall doing ______ ?" they aren't in fact doing that, and they probably don't know why it's being done for that matter.

Anyhoo, more later from the pit of despair.

Friday, April 02, 2010

So the Pope is supposed to be errorless on matters of faith and morality,

so who knew he has a personal preacher? A personal preacher who led a sermon for the pope and others in which he compared the "collective violence" against the pope and the Catholic Church to the Holocaust. You can't make this stuff up.

I find the Pope and his ilk ridiculous and discusting, and the attempt of these powers that be to make themselves out as the victims here, is infuriorating. To claim that exposing widespread sexual violence against children is "violence" against the Church is akin to a rapists making themselves out as victims because the raped asked for it. The pope is a head of state in his little city of Catholic beaurocrats crying, alongside his personal preacher, because the media is picking on him. Waaah! If an injured reputation was anything like anti-Semitism, I'd have a museum dedicated to me in Germany.

This quote is all that is to be said on the matter:

"The pope is not the victim here, nor is the church hierarchy," said David Clohessy, who is an advocate for victims and who experienced alleged abuses by a priest as a boy. "The victims are the boys and girls being sexually assaulted by priests, nuns, seminarians."

The pope has previously blamed "gay culture" for the global abuse scandal, which is ridiculous for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that "gay culture" is in general not manifested in churches. I mean I went to Limelight a couple of times, but there weren't any priests there taking confessions. And don't get me started on the practice of confession.

On a final note, another thing I'm sick of hearing is that this has anything to do with the fact that priests can't marry. They can very damn well marry, they just can't be priests anymore if they do. Furthermore there are plenty of people who aren't getting any pussy, from their wives or elsewhere, who aren't raping little boys as a result. Why, instead of blaming this on the mainstream or on gay culture, aren't they blaming this on the culture of power over the faithful that they've been building on since day one?